A Pain in My A**

I've been struggling with sciatica. This isn't news. I have been dealing with butt and leg pain intermittently over the last 18 months. So much so that I even tried an epidural (which didn't turn out to be so fun, if you remember my blog after that "brouhaha"). Right now I feel butt and leg pain and am experiencing intermittent numbness in my leg and foot. I liken the butt pain to sitting on a golf ball. Ibuprofen offers little relief and I took a round of prednisone which offered only slight, if any, relief. The fact that I have been unable to get in under control despite drugs and me doing all my back exercises three times a day was enough to get my family doctors immediate attention and he ordered an MRI for Monday. He remembers all too well the last time we were addressing sciatica and he is taking no chances on me this time.

I have to sigh and wonder when I am going to get a break from all the drama of cancer. I mean I understand the urgency and the worry about me but I just really want a rest from all of it. I got to wondering, what makes me so special that I think that I am above the statistics? I know of several people I have met with anal cancer that have recurred recently and I even know a few that, much to my heartbreak, have lost their battles with the disease. Frankly, I am a stage 4 victim and I realistically will recur sometime and if you believe the statistics it will be relatively soon. Even if I don't subscribe to that thinking the health care providers that care for me operate under the facts and not my hopes and dreams. SO...tomorrow I am having an MRI and we will all know the truth behind my butt pain. There is no relief for me from the chains of cancer and I have found that even in remission anal cancer continues to be a pain in my ass!

August 10, 2012 at 2:31PM PDT (6 comments)

Texas Jeff threw a punch at your cancer.

Sign in or sign up to post a comment.

I so understand ..I have had the same feelings about reoccurrence even though mine was discovered early..but I do know that statistics are defined by so many variables that you cannot really depend on them..good or bad...but as you know...if we have to pick which way to go..always go with the positive..though this is easier said then done...and by the way..I'm not one of those over the top positive people!! But I love how your faith really grounds you..you are so inspiring..even when you are troubled..your faith shines through. Know my prayers are with you..peace and love, Lori in AZ

Michele likes this comment

Michele, Michele, just think about those flip-flops...you have put them on again and have to deal with this beast...but Lori is right, you are not a statistic, you are you and you are a FIGHTER! Waiting for news tomorrow..XOXO

Michele likes this comment

I am praying for a clean MRI. Hugs, Linda

Michele likes this comment

Read onward and upward...the results are in! The posts were delayed because of the new format. It took me a while to figure it all out! MRI showed scar tissue and more importantly no tumor regrowth! Thanks for the prayers and support :)

Michele likes this comment

What wonderful news. Like you when I am due my next MRI all the questions keep coming into your mind. I wonder if it is a sort of defence mechanism. after my second clear scan my oncologist said "You are a year out with two clear scan. We can now put you in the 70% bracket" Threw me a bit as I hang on to the fact that we have a rare cancer that responds well to the treatment we have had. Antway just had mt third clear scan so hopefully we may be messing up the statistics. PS Still trying to sort out your book with the publisher - I will get there!!! Take care Annabelle

Michele likes this comment

Great news about the NED Not so good for your pain and numbness. Scar tissue... No disc compression? I know there must be many things you have/will look into to get relief. I wish you well on that journey as well. Betty

Michele likes this comment

Sign in or sign up to post a comment.

Vital Info

Name: Michele (ihavebuttwhat)

Blog: Posts

Member Since: October 3, 2011

Website: Click Here

Birthday: January 31, 1963

Profile: Cancer Fighter

Cancer Info

Type of Cancer: Anal Cancer

Medical Term for the Type of Cancer: Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the anus

Diagnosis Date: February 5, 2010

Stage of Cancer: Stage 4

Tumor Size: 2.1 - 3.0 cm

Grade of Tumor: Grade 3

Lymph Node Involvement: No

Radiation: Radiation Therapy

Chemotherapy: Cisplatin (Platinol, Platinol-AQ), Fluorouracil (5-FU), Mitomycin

Fundraising Goal: As much as possible

Money Raised: Proceeds from my published blog donated monthly

What I Hate Most About Cancer: It is a thief

What I Have Learned From Cancer: You have to live every day of your life and stay positive :)

Things My Supporters Can Do To Help: Donate $$ to the anal cancer foundation. Raising awareness saves lives!

Cancer Drugs Positives & Negatives: Is there anything good about poison?

Metastasized? Where?: Bone, lung recurrence 9/20/2012

Cancer Center: Cancer Center of Kansas, MD Anderson

Tips for others on how to deal with the physical side effects of chemo/cancer: Bland diet, sitz baths, take your drugs...nobody gets extra credit for suffering.

Tips for others on how to deal with the mental struggles of chemo/cancer: Talk, talk, talk to somebody. I chose to write.

End of Treatment Date: April 20, 2010

NED Date: September 20, 2010

Anal Cancer symptoms: Rectal bleeding, itching, sciatic pain. (thought my hemorhoid was acting up)

Surgery Description, Dates & Side Effects: Laminectomy and tumor removal of the metestatic sacral tumor. This was done microscopically (with a small spoon). Nov 2012 Wedge resection right lower lobe via thoracotomy.

Chemotherapy Description, Dates & Side Effects: 2 rounds, 96 hours each week 1 and week 5 during radiation of 5-FU. Mytomycin-C first round only. Hairloss, nausea, vomiting, 30 pounds of weight loss. Recurrence 2013- 4 rounds of Cisplatin with 46 hours of 5-FU with each round.

Radiation or Proton Therapy Description, Dates & Side Effects: 7 weeks, 7 sites. I suffered severe burns to the groin/perineum (hyper response) Hospitalized for 2 weeks blood tranfusion, pain control and burn care. 2013- 2 weeks intensified beam radiation right lung hilar node region

Fundraising Description: My blog has been published and proceeds go to The HPV and Anal Cancer Foundation. http://tinyurl.com/72bjjfp