Just the Pep Talk We Needed

Being home in Wichita, sleeping in my own bed, and safe within the security of my familiar surroundings I only took one day off to recover from my bronch/biopsy and then it was back to work and even a girls night out. I think my return to the "ordinary" is not only good for me, but for the people who love and care about me. I made an appointment to see my oncologist as soon as I received the final plan from MDA. So Monday was the big day. There wouldn't be any surprises anymore, or so I thought. We spent the weekend getting prepared for Monday. Friday night we hung out at the Cheney Bull Riding with my daughter and my husband, Saturday my hubby helped me deep clean the house (I guess getting chemo triggers a kind of nesting in me, like just before you have a baby), and Sunday we went to church and I just rested all day in anticipation of hopefully starting chemo that week. The sooner the better, right?

I awoke to the soft rumble of distant thunder and rain Monday morning and I was feeling as prepared as I could especially knowing my sissy would not be arriving until the next week. Both my besties and my rock of a husband were attending the appointment. It was really raining hard when I arrived at the Cancer Center of Kansas and I was grateful to be able to park in the parking garage. I rode the elevator to the 4th floor with a variety of other patients. An older couple and a middle aged man. We talked of the weather but I was "diagnosing" prostate cancer and prostrate cancer in my mind and I am sure they had their own "misdiagnosis" of breast cancer for me. We all wished each other luck as we exited...ladies first. When I opened the door to the CCK I immediately saw my bestie, Laurie, had already arrived. We smiled at each other then I went to check in, pick up my pager and slip into the business office to pay my cover charge. My pager went off while I was in the business office all I could think is "He's running on time." When I came out of the office my other bestie has arrived and they sit in quiet conversation. The MA is waiting to take me back at the check in desk and my husband is nowhere to be seen. I motion to my besties with my pager when they look toward me and they get up and in unison say "Where's Jerry?" I reply that he had texted that he was on his about 30 minutes back. I turn to the receptionist and describe my husband. "Big guy, big goatee, likes his beer!" I say as I pat my stomach. The waiting area laughs. "Also, he's pretty loud. You'll know him when you see and hear him" They laugh again and we follow the MA back to the scale. I weigh in (2lbs down from MDA) but I don't lament too much. She takes us to room 5 and gets my vitals and double checks my meds. My bestie writes it all down in my blue notebook. I hear my husbands voice in the hallway and they direct him in. The MA steps out and we play musical chairs and I finally settle on the exam table and everyone else takes a chair.

The pocket door slides open almost on cue from one of my besties and we all laugh out loud. We let "brown shoes" in on the laugh and he chuckles too. He gets right down to business and says he had talked with the folks at MDA. Then he said "Are you starting today?" we all look surprised and I tell him not that I am aware of but I will start whenever they say. A little more computer research by him and he informs me that I will be starting the next morning at 9:00. We all agree the sooner we start the better. We have a little discussion about whether my original tumor had been tested for HPV and he thought not. I remember that my original anal biopsies were done at Wesley and coming back showing AIN we thought for sure the testing was done and I remember being told that I was negative then but we know that MDA had ordered all my biopsies and they were all going to be thoroughly retested for everything. He starts my exam listening to my lungs, feeling my lymph nodes and palpating my abdomen. As he is palpating my groin area for lymph nodes we just talk about how good we felt about involving MDA. With that conversation he helps me sit and in an excited voice steps back from the exam table so we all can see him. "I forgot to tell you the best part!" He goes on to explain that the fact that this is the same lobe in my lung and nowhere else in my body is great news. He and my doc at MDA both felt that remission was achievable again for me. To be honest he was so excited and grinning from ear to ear I had to wonder "Who is this guy?" I have never seen him anything but full of wonder at my mere survival. Always guardingly optimistic. This little outburst was a talk like Knute Rockney would give! He reminded my of Dr. Cutie...um, I mean Kelley. It was almost like he was channeling him. Seriously, it was just the pep talk we needed!

Thomas threw a punch at your cancer.
Jana sent you a hug.
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I am so happy to hear your news. Yay! You are a survivor! We are all supporting you. Big hugs !
Michele likes this comment
I love it when someone says "I forgot to tell you the best part!"--especially when it really is the best part! How encouraging to hear that "brown shoes" has every expectation of getting you to remission once again! You can do this, Michele, I know you can! Stay strong and know that many prayers are being said for you. Love and Hugs-- Martha
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"he and my doc at MDA both felt that remission was achievable again". I can't tell you how happy I am for you to have heard these encouraging words. Kick butt girl!!!!
Michele likes this comment
Great news and I'm sure u are all pleased. MDA is truly a great place to get all the important info straight . Good luck with the chemo. MDA has a great visualization CD the give to there patient and I use it all the time. See if you can get energy medicine people to send you one. I swear it helps the chemo work! Always, Maya
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Oh, I am so happy about your news from the doctor! Remission is a wonderful word and provides much hope! You will achieve this, I am sure. Hugs, Cherie
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Going in on a high five and a roller wave! You will be a star! Looking foward to hearing about this new doctor and the treatment he is overseeing. XOXO
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Michele, I'm so glad to read this! Best news! You will kick cancer's butt again! Jeanne
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Michele , That is very intersting and it makes sense that this would be good news. It's he little things that count and this is an important nuance in terms of how it is spreading.. At least it is in the same area. That is news I would be glad to hear.. My prayers continue for you and everyone in your circle! My best as you start your treatment:) Lori
Michele likes this comment
So glad to hear such hopeful news! hugs.
Michele likes this comment
Ohhhh, music to my ears, hope in my heart, and sense to my mind. Yea, "brown shoes"! (I think in celebration of your news, I may go buy some really unique brown shoes...My hair is still so short that shaving it in recognition of your path would go unnoticed.)
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January 31, 1963 - June 10, 2020

Vital Info


October 3, 2011

Click Here

January 31, 1963

June 10

Cancer Info

Anal Cancer

Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the anus

February 5, 2010

Stage 4

2.1 - 3.0 cm

Grade 3


As much as possible

Proceeds from my published blog donated monthly

It is a thief

You have to live every day of your life and stay positive :)

Donate $$ to the anal cancer foundation. Raising awareness saves lives!

Is there anything good about poison?

Bone, lung recurrence 9/20/2012

Cancer Center of Kansas, MD Anderson

Bland diet, sitz baths, take your drugs...nobody gets extra credit for suffering.

Talk, talk, talk to somebody. I chose to write.

April 20, 2010

September 20, 2010

Rectal bleeding, itching, sciatic pain. (thought my hemorhoid was acting up)

My blog has been published and proceeds go to The HPV and Anal Cancer Foundation. http://tinyurl.com/72bjjfp


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